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Poem: That She Had to Ask

June 5, 2012
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That she had to ask if it was all a game was what really hit me hardest.

For those few moments, she must have felt her whole body plummet.
Not to fall and land softly, but to drop as though losing balance in a dream.
That never-ending chasm in a nightmare.

I know too well that chasm.
One visit to its depths is more than enough.

I think we all, those of us with hearts, have seen it, sent there by some other with only an ego of their own to consider.

That she had to see its walls chasing up toward the sky, which seemed also to run away from her, it’s enough to make one feel ill.

It was enough to sicken me, the thought that I had thrown her there.

If I did not throw her, I let her walk its bridge, never suspecting she might at any moment be betrayed by the boards beneath her feet.

Once, a long time passed in which I felt nothing. I had imagined I might rather feel anything.

But when she had to ask if it was all a game, I would have gladly been devoid of feeling.

For when she falls, I fall. But when she dropped, I dropped and all the faster for knowing I had thrown myself.

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